update to the last: I'm okay
Jun. 21st, 2017 06:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chanter1944Thank you so much to everyone who commented on that last entry of mine. Much love!
Showed the bosslady the list. She was sympathetic, if definitely a bit thrown. She first asked if I was quitting - "Nooooo no, definitely not." Wound up taking two days off, with her blessing. I need them. The day got better from there on in; I don't know why uncorking, embarrassing though it was after the fact, helped, but it did. Also helping were several messes getting sorted out all at once, and a relatively mellow day. I still need the vacation time, badly. By late morning, I was not flinching at phone rings or e-mail pings, and chatting with friendly customers was a pleasure rather than a chore. Definite improvements, and again, no idea why uncorking helped.
Seriously looking into getting a medical opinion on this anxiety stuff, because it's been bad, lifelong, and it's getting worse, and I have a family history of the same; Mom has it too, though often well-hidden. People at work seem to think it's purely an attitude/reaction thing, of the 'change your outlook' variety. As changing my outlook involves a good amount of what feels suspiciously like plastering on an obviously fake smile, I'm not sure this is something a sunny mindset is going to cure.
I need the vacation time. There will be reading up a storm, and radio time as both receiver and transmitter, and *fingers crossed* a blood donation, and kitty cuddles, and maybe a campfire.
Bless my boss, seriously. I wrote her a grateful e-mail before taking off for vacation time. Strongly considering a gift of chocolate out of gratitude for putting up with my self-confessed high-strung self.
Just wanted to update everybody. I'm okay. I'm flipping tired and need a recharge.
Showed the bosslady the list. She was sympathetic, if definitely a bit thrown. She first asked if I was quitting - "Nooooo no, definitely not." Wound up taking two days off, with her blessing. I need them. The day got better from there on in; I don't know why uncorking, embarrassing though it was after the fact, helped, but it did. Also helping were several messes getting sorted out all at once, and a relatively mellow day. I still need the vacation time, badly. By late morning, I was not flinching at phone rings or e-mail pings, and chatting with friendly customers was a pleasure rather than a chore. Definite improvements, and again, no idea why uncorking helped.
Seriously looking into getting a medical opinion on this anxiety stuff, because it's been bad, lifelong, and it's getting worse, and I have a family history of the same; Mom has it too, though often well-hidden. People at work seem to think it's purely an attitude/reaction thing, of the 'change your outlook' variety. As changing my outlook involves a good amount of what feels suspiciously like plastering on an obviously fake smile, I'm not sure this is something a sunny mindset is going to cure.
I need the vacation time. There will be reading up a storm, and radio time as both receiver and transmitter, and *fingers crossed* a blood donation, and kitty cuddles, and maybe a campfire.
Bless my boss, seriously. I wrote her a grateful e-mail before taking off for vacation time. Strongly considering a gift of chocolate out of gratitude for putting up with my self-confessed high-strung self.
Just wanted to update everybody. I'm okay. I'm flipping tired and need a recharge.
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Date: 2017-06-22 06:35 pm (UTC)