oh brother, am I nervous!

Two-day shadow at potential job starts in T-1 hour and change.

Eeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee!

To put my state of mind a bit more clearly, if my squeal in the previous line didn't say it plainly enough, I jumped in the shower fifteen minutes ago and was wobbling so much from nerves I nearly fell right back out again. Must. not. screw. this. up. Meeeeeeep!

Must also drink all the coffee, as I slept like utter rubbish last night, radio shows or no radio shows. Thanks anyway, meimichan.

Details will be given when I get back in tonight. I'd cross my fingers, but that'd make it a sharding lot more difficult typing, so. :)

Oh fraaaaaak meeeeeee...

just about all out of clever

Home. Flattened by overload, keyed up from same, but happy. Favorable impressions all round. I find myself wanting to fit in there, already doing so, but forever looking for the pitfall I'll drop through that'll embarrass me mortally in the eyes of everybody there. Dammit, I didn't want a blind job, but this isn't. Nobody notices, really. Not where it's important. Yeah, I'm a talker, but it's /wanted/ out there, or at least that's the impression I'm sincerely hoping I'm not wrong in getting. I don't want this to come back and slap me in the face two weeks from now. Good lord, am I seriously that gun shy? I've never been abused, what's with insecurity this deep-seated? Have I just been reading too much fic again?

I actually want to fit in out there. I want to make this work, and oh brother, do I not want to screw this up.

I'll worry about that tomorrow. Right now, even I can recognize that dwelling on something will do me no earthly good. Parents have been called, shoes have been temporarily taken off, and soon there will be something hot to eat and probably drink, too. And then there will be muito unwinding, because lord do I need it. I'm talked out from what felt like several months worth of giddy chatter pressure venting, and nobody minded. How the hell? K the shadowee is a talker herself, and her older fosterdaughter's described as the two of us chatty Kathys combined. Can this really be an asset?

Oh man, I am keyed up. I need to go chill. More later. And since when did this turn into a pseudo-angsty character study of myself? Gah, no more, dummy. Chilling now.