well, that's still a thing

A dozen years, and a certain character from a certain former canon still gets to me. Related, the reason I stopped *watching* said canon is still just as painful as it was when it aired. This proven by my being an idiot and reading a couple fics about the character in question over the last couple days, set post... er, event (I can't even name it!), and being emotionally wrecked as a result, and not in a fun way.

I know what possessed me. I knew I was being stupid at the time I decided to click over and read. ... Dammit. Why did I *do* that? What's the Trekverse line about the dangers of reopening old wounds? I'm no surgeon, but you'd think I'd at least have a clue, especially given that this was the episode, literally and figuratively, that essentially forced me to come out of my own mental closet.

For the record, I'm fine, where fine is not in danger of doing anything unsafe or worrying. This frakking hurts, though. Ow ow ow. :( :( :(

Going to distract myself with a new episode of a current canon, now.